This morning on Christmas Eve, I find myself in a familiar pattern that I’ve recognized for decades. The worry of,

“Am I giving enough? Do I have enough gifts for family and loved ones? Have I done enough?” 

Many years I’ve stressed myself worrying about the gift giving, the holiday cards, having a hostess gift for every invitation, and often feeling like I’ve fallen short.

Some years I feel really good about myself that I’ve been able to do it all. Some years I beat myself up because I didn’t do the Christmas card, I didn’t buy the Christmas tree,  I didn’t decorate… Some years I’m proud that I chose to prioritize myself and say, “Nope I just can’t do it…it’s all too much.”

Do you also find yourself judging yourself based on what you do, rather than who you are?

When is it too much, and when is it not enough? I’ve struggled with this; and I ask myself why? Why do I go to bed with a migraine because I’ve burnt the candle at both ends? Working and also doing all the planning, the shopping, the wrapping the gifts, the cooking, the cleaning…is it all due to the innate fear of not being enough?

I’ve suffered from hypertension. I don’t look like a woman with hypertension. I’m not overweight. I’m not obese. I live a fabulous life. I love my husband and family. I love my job. I love my clients. I live in an older but beautiful home. (Yes, it needs a lot of work and I can choose to beat myself up over it, or I can be content with what I have.)

When is enough, enough? When can we stop beating ourselves up and start really saying it’s enough? We’re enough. We have enough. We are enough.

Deepak Chopra says, the fastest way to a heart attack is thinking, “There’s never enough time.” This has been my mantra for decades.  It’s really a cultural social norm in the Washington DC area. The common conversation goes like this,

“How are you?” 

“Oh, I’m sooooo busy!”

Like this is a badge of honor and a measure of importance. Many, once retired can struggle with this. “If I’m not so busy, am I therefore not so important?” We sometimes build up some grandiose notion that the world could not go on without us…without our busyness…without the roles we play, without our jobs. The reality is, when someone drops dead of a heart attack, the world does go on. Albeit not without being missed and mourned, but life does go on.

What is the meaning of life for you? What is the meaning of success? How will you find your own peace on earth?  

Maybe it starts with a new mantra.
Maybe it’s a mantra of abundance versus scarcity.
Maybe it’s a mantra that I am enough,  I have enough,  and there is enough for all.

Right now all we can do is be responsible for our own health and wellbeing, in the hopes that giving ourselves this permission will give our loved ones permission to do the same.

What might this world look like if a billion men and women stood up and said,

“We’re content, there is enough, let there be peace on earth.  Amen.” 

When you are stressed for time, stop, take a deep breath, and tell yourself, “There is enough time. I am enough.” Then return to the task at hand, knowing that you are doing your best and feeling content with that. You just might find that peace brings more wellbeing and productivity.

Wishing you love, compassion and feelings of peace on earth this holiday season.

Lisa

PS
Next post, I will invite you to consider several ways to give yourself the gift of health in the new year.