Two of my clients graduated this past week. Both came to me with diagnoses of metastatic cancer. Harry transitioned to Heaven, and another client to spend time with family over the holidays as he is in remission with no evidence of disease. Both have loving and supportive spouses who were vital in their lives. Both took personal responsibility for their health and courageously took control of their lives. Both taught me immense gifts that I will try and share in this short tribute to Harry.

Harry, with his wife Jill, lived his life with courage and was surrounded by loving family and friends. His work was important to him, and he worked up to retirement. Harry said that this Thanksgiving was the “Best in my Life” and Jill added that his family was so loving, and he felt very blessed. His visit with his daughters and granddaughter gave him “so much peace.” He spoke about meeting his wife in college, “love at first sight, and joy ever since.” He spoke of all the blessings, all the fun times with family and friends, and said, “those memories will always be there.”

It is so very true, memories of our loved ones will live in our hearts and souls forever.

Jill said, “Thank you, Lisa, you gave him so much encouragement. We were blessed to have you in our lives during the journey”.

I feel like I was the one who was blessed in being a witness to their lives.

Here’s what I’ve learned about living from working with cancer:

The gift of a cancer diagnosis, is that, unlike a sudden accidental death, you have time for meaningful connections with family and friends. You sometimes have time to fulfill your bucket lists too, like in the 2007 movie, Bucket List with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson.

Let’s face it, none of us are getting out of here alive. How we live our lives today, matters. A cancer diagnosis can be a wake-up call for change and, or, an opportunity for increased love and meaning.

I shared an e-Book titled, Crossing the Creek, by Michael Holmes, R.N. with Jill and Harry that I found to support another dear friend, colleague and client a couple of years ago and re-read it. It was written by a hospice nurse to support family and patients going through transition. Jill said, “I think everyone should read this” and I agree.

The process of dying can give us great wisdom about living. It gave me a new perspective on both pain and the importance of healthy expression of emotions. The importance of working through unresolved issues so not to take unexpressed emotions and baggage with you into the afterlife.

In his book, Michael acknowledges that for our personal growth and development we face challenges our entire life, so why would it be different in our transition to the next?

Michael says,

“Everyone has fear, even brave people. It is just that brave people have developed some skill at dealing with their fear. Another way I have heard it said is: Courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to act in the face of fear”.

So, how do we grow, transition, or achieve any kind of personal transformation?

We learn to get comfortable with the uncomfortable.

We face the fear and do it anyway.

A diamond is a lump of coal that is transformed under extreme heat and pressure.

How do we learn to live fully?

• ​​​​​​​We face heat and pressure.
• We face tough times with faith that we are strong and resilient and will weather the storm.
• We realize that together we are stronger and enlist support from others.
• We have faith that there will be a rainbow to greet us at the end.

May you find love, hope and meaning during this holiday season.

With love,

Lisa Jackson