This week was my birthday, which for me, is kind of like New Years, a sobering time to “rethink everything.” The recognition that time is so precious and OMG am I really THAT old?!

Chocolate Raspberry Cake from my book, Savvy Secrets

I woke up feeling sad, frustrated and sorry for myself. My husband was out of town, and my twin sister and a few others who were coming to my retreat next week are now unable to go. I’m sad not to be able to share this time with them but grateful that a couple of years ago everyone came together to create yoga dance videos, such precious memories!  You can see why I will miss her and how she is so much fun here:

Also given my own recent wake up call and given that I am STILL trying to figure out exactly what I want to be when I grow up, I’m cognitive of what my recently deceased brother in law said, “My runway may be shorter than I thought”. 

Yes Lisa, your actions today determine tomorrow’s destiny…

So I purposely chose NOT to work on my Birthday.  As the “energizer bunny” I’ve been known to work too hard.  This is a badge of honor we Washingtonians bestow upon ourselves to prove our worthiness.  “I’m just so busy” (and therefore so important).  It’s true, I do feel more productive and seem to get more done, the busier I am. But sometimes this busyness has a cost. In my case, my blood pressure is my body’s loving reminder to find equal time for rest, relaxation and play!

My mantra has often been “There’s never enough time…” which, according to Dr. Deepak Chopra is the fastest way to a heart attack.

So the question is what do I really really really WANT? So I pondered this on my Birthday, starting with how did I want to spend the day. First I had to call my twin sister in tears and offload what had been on my chest.  I want honest open loving relationships.  That means first being open, honest and true to myself and verbalizing hurt and sometimes-difficult conversations. I told her that yes I may sound vain and selfish but I was really disappointed that she decided to go with friends on another trip instead of coming to my retreat and I didn’t want to give her a guilt trip, but that I felt sad and hurt anyway. This was not an easy call for me and especially challenging for an accommodating, people-pleaser like myself. 

My rock solid, faithful, loving, sister said, “I’m not accepting any guilt trip and I am so proud of you for making this call”.  Wow, aren’t our relationships our best teachers? It felt good to let it go and I felt heard and safe to verbalize my feelings. Something so important for all of us to practice. Now that the air was clear, we could plan our day together.

The night before I stopped at Whole Foods and bought a few of my favorite things for a picnic lunch. Denise did the same, and we met at a vineyard close to her home with our Mother to celebrate.  I made Victoria Woods’ quick roasted cauliflower and brussel sprouts with olive oil, garlic and spices and brought pate, raw cheese and gluten free crackers, grapes, olives, and of course, dark chocolate.  I grabbed a bottle of green tea, my glass water bottle and some ice and was out the door. 

I decided to wear my new Athleta wild yoga pants because after all it IS my birthday so I could wear and do whatever I wanted! Don’t you love how they match my company colors? I even got a couple of thumbs up in my convertible on the way, not bad for a 56 year old woman 🙂

My gift from Denise?  An old caricature that she found drawn when I was twelve years old as a ballet dancer and a cheerleader.  My husband who was out of town, sent me a jibjab card of him dancing and singing about how I am still his cheerleader…..hmmmmmm

After our picnic, I mailed my books and handouts for the Asilomar Retreat and went to the bank to cash in a savings bond from 1968, another found gift from Denise.  Worth $131 today, woo hoo!  I decided to treat myself to a Hot Spot infra Red Sauna @HotSpotSauna and relaxed while I put the finishing touches on my workshop for next week. It’s amazing how good and productive I felt in the 45 minutes of writing in the sauna. There is nothing like a good sweat to get the endorphins going and the heat is soooo relaxing!  An infrared is different than a dry or steam sauna.  It uses the same heat that hospitals use to warm newborn babies.  It actually penetrates deeper in the tissue and is hotter but does not feel stifling hot like other saunas. I especially recommend this to my clients who want to do a periodic cleanse. My daughter and I spent 30 minutes in an infrared sauna several days a week during her cancer treatment in Arizona and getting one for my home is on my wish list. 

Last stop was to MOM’s Organic Market to buy food for Sunday when we will celebrate my daughter Margo, and sister Cristin and niece Luzy’s birthday and my nephew Eddie’s birthday too!  How blessed we are to have a big loving family and how grateful I felt to spend time with my twin sister and to take time just for myself too.  

A very important lesson I learned from my friend Dr Wes Rocki is that by acknowledging all of us, the fear, the sadness, and the parts we want to hide, allows us to see the opposing emotions. If we stuff our anger, fear and sadness, we also stuff our joy. Imagine balancing on a boogie board. One side is our dark side and one side is the light. If we press down on the dark, the light rises. By letting go of the thoughts that no longer serve you, you are able to make room for love and joy.  By letting go of our constant busyness, gives us time and space for gratitude.

“Healing means to make whole, to accept all parts of ourselves, not just the parts we like, but all of us.” Louise Hay

Maybe for next year’s birthday, we’ll practice SUP yoga!

How will you practice balance and what will you do for yourself today, this week and especially on your birthday? 

Lisa

PS

One spot left for Self Health Retreat @ Asilomar next weekend! LMK if you want more information http://www.selfhealthretreats.com/