What I am beginning to understand is the value of the darkness.
The cultural norm is to want us all "to be happy" Don't get me wrong. I love the light. I crave the light. However, it is in the darkness where healing happens. It is the pain that breaks us open. It is in acknowledging our wounds, licking the wound, loving the wounded, that allows healing to occur.
Using the analogies of my previous post, Moving from Tragedy to Transformation, reminds me that you cannot rush the process.
A diamond is formed from a lump of coal under extreme pressure.
A caterpillar literally burns itself up to become a butterfly.
The discomfort of labor brings forth an amazing joyful miracle.A diamond will not form without time and pressure. The caterpillar must go through the process. It takes a full nine months of gestation and then often hours for the birth of a baby. We cannot rush this without consequence.
We must love, honor and cherish all that life gives us. It is because of the darkness that we can appreciate the light.
So often, because of our own discomfort, we want to rush the process. Especially if you consider yourself a healer. We want to "fix" the problem. We want to make the pain go away. Our entire healthcare system is set up for the "quick fix." For every human condition, we have a new ICD 10 code, a diagnosis and a label. Doctors can then correlate that list of symptoms with a pharmaceutical drug to "fix" the condition. You see this when you turn on the television or the New York Times or any magazine that gets revenue from the largest lobby on Capitol Hill. We are brainwashed to think that we have to seek outside "expert" opinions to heal ourselves. It's true, we feel better just making the call to the Doctor. This is because we have conditioned ourselves to do so. I also wrote about this and the power of the placebo and nocebo in my book. We are constantly seeking the truth outside of ourselves.
The difference in a Thriver and a Survivor is that Thrivers learn to trust their intuition. Thrivers discover how to heal from within.
I'm not dissing the experts. I believe that it does indeed take a village and that we were not meant to be on this earth alone. I believe in seeking support to enrich all areas of our lives.
What I am saying is that sometimes, instead of putting on a bandaid and taking drugs to mask symptoms, we need to pick up the wounded child and embrace her....unconditionally, without judgment.
We need to love and embrace the darkness.
I cannot tell you how many people have asked me about my recently widowed daughter. "How is she doing?" and "How can she afford to take this 100 day journey?" I sense they are implying that this is impractical and irresponsible. Shouldn't she be worried about how she is going to pay her bills now? (Yes, without a doubt she is worrying about this)
This is my response. Sometimes we need to slow down to heal. Sometimes we need to look beyond the physical, beyond the bank account, take a leap of faith and learn to trust our own intuition. We need to embrace all of our emotions and feelings. Time to allow ourselves to feel the pain and the anger. Time for self reflection; to recognize the denial, the doubt and the fear. Time to love and accept all the emotions, so we can release them. As I said last week in my Carpe Diem Dance class,
"Emotions are merely energy in motion. Witnessing them, as we witness our thoughts in meditation, is a way of clearing the mind, the body and the soul."My friends who have known me through my own personal tragedies, have witnessed when I've been "closed for renovation." When I couldn't uphold my nickname, "The energizer bunny." When I've had to question everything and focus on self health. When I've discovered acceptance and surrender, inside the cocoon of darkness. When we hit rock bottom, we have no choice if we want to transform. This is the gift and the beauty of rock bottom.
Most recently, to heal my own adrenal fatigue (or now more accurately called HPA axis dysfunction), I've had to practice my own unconditional self love.
If your health journey has led to a dead end, if you would like guidance on ways to heal from within, or if you would like a safe space to explore all of yourself, consider the gift and investment of health coaching.
Wishing you unconditional self love,
ABOUT LISA JACKSON, RN, CHC, RYT-500, FDN
Lisa is an author, inspirational speaker and a coach with a mission to inspire others to feel and look their best at any age.
She is the former Executive Director of the Integrative Wellness Program for the Center for Cancer and Blood Disorders.
Lisa's book, Savvy Secrets: Eat, Think and Thrive outlines her seven-step process towards optimal health that is fun and transformational.
Lisa is part of the New Self Health Movement and the Wellness Inspired Network. When she is not coaching, speaking or writing, you can find her practicing yoga and joyfully sharing Carpe Diem Dance.